© ‘72012’ Poetry Kris Jordan 2016
My daughter survived
3 hospital stays
2 suicide attempts
How many f*ing lives?
How much of my money
so a murderer can be housed and fed?
so we can heal?
so we can fight?
The expense is too high.
He lives. We die.
This one is hard for me. My daughter was an employee at the Aurora Century theater. It was her first job. She was 16. She was working the night of the shooting. Her life was shattered that night. My life took a turn that night. My child lived and is living with survivor’s guilt and PTSD that has almost killed her.
It hurts to know how much my daughter is hurting, to the point of her no longer wanting to live her life, because of someone else’s actions. She’s not in a place today to advocate for herself. She is not emotionally able to fight for her health. And so I pray.
I pray for her. I pray for me. I pray for me to not take a victim role, but rather to stand in the faith that everything happens for a reason. I stand in my belief that things happen FOR us, for greater purposes than we understand. I stand in my belief that people deserve love. I stand in the belief my daughter will be a thriver.
That doesn’t mean I’m not angry. I’m angry that some one else’s free will, some one else’s mental health issues, that some one else can hurt other people. I’m angry beyond belief. And this poem reflects that.
Today, I pray for the innumeral people who have been affected by the Aurora Century Theater Shooting or any other horrific act of violence. For what it’s worth, I believe in Justice and Love and pray for you.