In Her Shoes
Perspective Poetry (c) Kris Jordan
I’m here, dripping sweat down my nose, working hard. Scrubbing the floors, the counters, the refrigerator shelves. Burning off this damn energy.
Thinking of you.
Wondering why I did you wrong.
Slamming the vacuum into the corner. Cussing as I roll over my foot. Kicking my ass for hurting you.
That cobweb in the corner.
That burnt out lightbulb.
How long have they been like that? Guess I didn’t notice them either. Left you, and them, sitting alone in that dark, dirty room, letting you rot.
I’m sorry for forgetting your heart.
For words left unsaid and those words that came spilling out so carelessly like cockroaches scattering towards the shadows where they belong.
I’m sorry I turn off.
Disappear inside my head. Become as warm and loving as the underside of a rock on the top of Pikes Peak where we rode the Cog Railroad and laughed and talked and you told me your dream. Your dream of helping hurting children.
You do that. Because your heart is so beautiful. So pure. You can heal them. I believe in you.
I don’t believe in me.
I don’t know how you manage to pump blood into my heart, bring me to life, invite my sense of adventure out to play. I don’t know how your magic kick-starts my breath as you cause me to gasp for air, inhale, breathe you in, fill my lungs.
You make me pant for more of the love you give.
In those moments when the sweat drips down my nose and your moisture drips down your leg, I am free. In those moments when I am present with you, my heart attempts to break through everything holding it down.
I want you. I want you. I want you.
I love you.
This poem had several layers for me, and as often writing and/or poetry do, I didn’t discover it until I read it again. That’s the beautiful thing about life- we can take a different perspective at any time and see a situation differently. For example- read the poem through the eyes of one lover to another. Then, read it as the writer’s perspective of herself.
Many times our reflection of ourselves shows up in our relationships. Many times our reflection of others shows up in how we treat ourselves.
Consider today how you might change perspectives and learn something new. Talk to yourself as though thrid person, as though looking at your relationship with yourself like it is external. What changes?