The Art of Con
(c) Kris Jordan 2016
I tricked you.
Made you think I was confident, successful.
I made you see me as beautiful, worthy of being with you.
But you didn’t know it was a con.
Around you I’m just mush.
Convinced one day you will leave.
Scared you may be The One.
Scared you may not be The One.
I tricked you.
But you tell me I didn’t.
You tell me I am as great as I think I am.
You see more of me than I see in myself.
You tell me I can achieve the things I’ve set out to do, even though I haven’t done them yet.
You had me convinced I was more than a starving artist.
That one day I would again eat more than noodles and broth.
That one day love will seep through all my pores like I want it to.
That one day my smile will be genuine.
You made me believe I have value. Worth.
More than what my mind or body could offer,
JUST BY BEING
I am good enough.
I’m not what you see. I am simply scared flesh.
And you deserve better. So,
The con is on.
My race to convince you how unworthy I am and
Your race to convince me how beautiful I am.
Who will win?
Who will convince the other?
I’ve been told love wins.
God I hope that’s right.
I think we all find ourselves as some point feeling like an imposter. Thinking some how we don’t deserve to be “here”, whatever or where ever “here” is. In this poem, I am reflecting on being in a relationship that at times, I don’t feel like I deserve. This really has be examine what I do think I deserve.
What do you think you deserve? How has that changed, or not changed, over time? Where are you a con and where are you con-vinced of something that isn’t true? Is there anyone con-vincing you otherwise and are you listening?