A Bunch of Lofty Thoughts
Yesterday I was in a very philosophical mood. Sometimes people just put me there.
I have been thinking about what’s next in my life journey. Here it is, the end of the year and time to reflect on what transpired the last 12 months and what goals I have for the new year. It is a beautiful blend of manifestation, dreaming and visualization, along with this masculine energy of getting things done, crunching numbers and making an ACTION plan.
Maybe it was the story Elizabeth told me of her having cancer. Her jaw bone needed to be replaced and the doctors used a portion of bone from her leg to build her a new jaw. Her scars make her interesting and intriguing to me, and I was thankful she shared her story with me before my curiosity had me ask. She’s a beautiful woman, smart and well-traveled, blonde hair and brown eyes and a very gentle, kind spirit. She didn’t plan to have cancer. It was hard. But she made it and is living life to the fullest.
It didn’t work out as well for Donna’s cousin. He took his life this week. I don’t know why. None of us really ever know why. We see people endure the most difficult challenges imaginable, and others just can’t beat the emotions they feel deep inside that tell them there is no hope.
It didn’t work out so well for Carol’s cousin either. Blind, diabetic and in kidney failure, he died before the disability he applied for could be approved, or rather, denied again. Meanwhile, Dorothy, a friend of the family, still gets disability checks despite a clean bill of health and being able to resume full time work.
Kathleen and Peter sold their home to buy a top of the line RV and stick a nice nest egg in the bank. John and Pamela worked their whole lives and saved, but still work, still save, still pray for health and the ability to work, because once that is gone, they’ll ask for death to take them before their money runs out.
Today, I received a text from my ex-husband. Ex for the last ten years. He admitted it took him nearly a decade to be humble enough to say he was sorry. Sorry for taking my light. Sorry for hurting me in his fear and survivalism. It’s amazing what ego is capable of when it runs untethered.
There are so many broken systems. And yet, there is so much hope. There are so many plans, and so few than pan out. There is so much self, and so much generosity.
Those of us who are brave, we try again. We wipe our tears, rub our sore butts and start anew.
We get stuff done, crunch numbers and give our action plans our very best – even if only for a sprint of time. We dream and visualize and create downright miracles. We hurt, get disappointed, feel anger and resentment… and try again.
What I’ve learned in the last few days is this: hold on loosely. Dream and take the next right step, but don’t push – let it be. Plan only to land among the stars. let go the best you can of expectations as those are only an illusion of control. We don’t have control. We neither have control of things going wrong nor of them going right. Let go of the illusion.
Above all else, remember time heals all wounds. Just give it time. Living a life without regrets means taking chances – even if they fail. Breathe. Begin again. And,
Be Brave Always,
*names have been changed to protect privacy