“Sometimes, they need to get away from the thing that makes them sick. Even if that toxic thing is you.”

To The Death

poetry (c) Kris Jordan

She loved him deeply

Profoundly

Blindly

Sickly.

Fought, until the death for his

Love

Abuse

Addiction

As though it was hers.

Yet it was.

Her love

Her self-abuse

Her addiction

 

There was no beginning and no end of her apart from him. He was everything and nothing. As though she was a single person, a single parent. Alone and yet not. Entwined. Entangled. Engulfed. Drowning.

 

She loved her deeply

Profoundly

Astoundingly.

Let go, terrified of her seemingly imminent death

Cried

Reached out

Hurt

As though it was hers.

Yet it was.

Her tears

Her self-care

Her pain

 

Detached yet caring, understanding she was never intended to be a part of her. She was meant to be unique, individual, autonomous, empowered. Strong. Loved. Supported, not enabled.

Released.

Released.

 

Released.

 

Author’s Reflection:

This poem looks at two different ways to be in relationship. One is attached, dysfunctional, and the other is “released”. Both are hard.

The second stanza is a look at my relationship with my kids. How hard it is to let go and let them experience their lives, wanting to keep them in the nest, yet also wanting them to be the beautiful women I have raised them to be.

Relationship, a truly healthy one, isn’t co-dependant, that is, they allow space for each person to be fully human, self-sufficient, empowered, while also demonstrating mutual respect and love.

Wikipedia defines codependency, and my favorite part states the balance we take when we aren’t, when we are in health: “Responsibility for relationships with others needs to coexist with responsibility to self….Someone truly recovered from codependency would feel empowered and like an author of their life and actions rather than being at the mercy of outside forces.”

How is your responsibility levels? Are you over responsible or under respondsible? Do you “own” other’s responsibilities?

Do you feel empowered? Are you the author of your own life now, even if you haven’t been in the past?

I encourage you to keep moving forward. Keep looking inward. Keep seeking… you are on the right path…remain curious about what your life is showing you.